Caroline TeSelle

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What To Do When Your Choice to “Miss Out” Was the Right Decision

October 26, 2018 By Caroline TeSelle


My favorite day of the year happened last weekend and we weren’t there.

Nest Fest.

It’s when our friends, Chad & Myquillyn Smith open their homestead to 1000 people to celebrate home, handmade, writing, good food, and banjo music.

It’s also the culmination of all the work that’s been done over the past six to eight months, where behind-the-scenes becomes a dream fulfilled.

I love everything about it.

It’s the one day of the year that my extroverted side shows up.

This was the third annual Nest Fest and it was extra special because Myquillyn’s new book, Cozy Minimalist Home, was being released that day day along with the beginning of her Cozy Home Tour with their Tiny Cozy Barn.

This year my entire family was going to go along with our vintage camper, Jenny.

And we missed it.

The decision to stay home was mine.

I’ve been dealing with some health issues involving my thyroid and I knew that I couldn’t physically fulfill my duties and help the Nest Fest team, but even the mental and emotional part would have been overwhelming as well.

I watched it all unfold online. It was amazing to see the photos and stories on Instagram, but it was also like I was dreaming.

Dreaming with my eyes open.

Scenes of the day displayed on my “Instagram machine” (a term Myquillyn uses for her phone, lol!). I even had some friends that were there text me some photos.

We all make decisions everyday and sometimes you have to make a choice to miss out on something that’s really important to you.

When your choice to “miss out” was the right decision:

Focus on what’s in front of you

Focus on what’s in front of you and not what you’re “missing” because if you are focusing on your decision being the right decision, you’re not missing anything.

It’s right in front of you.

Don’t be afraid to let others know the reason behind your decision.

It can produce seeds of grace and love that you weren’t expecting.

Remember that you can be a long-distance cheerleader.

I had a few opportunities to send texts of encouragement to the rest of the team. I knew that they had it all under control but I just wanted them to know that I was cheering them on even from a distance.

Don’t allow the fear of disappointing others fuel your decision.

This was perhaps the biggest issue with making the decision to not go, who would I be disappointing?

The list in my head was long and it started with my immediate family, the rest of the Nest Fest team, friends and family that were traveling from long distances to be there…

In reality, every single person understood the reason why. And why would I think any different?

Allow it to build your character.

Oh, man.

I had a few cry-baby moments especially when I saw a few images on my Instagram machine.

So many real-life, beautiful moments that are happening and I SHOULD BE THERE. Cue the tears.

But I think some of the tears came because I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. At home.

With my people.

Dreaming with my eyes open, right in front of me.


We all have decisions to make. Every. Single. Day.

Some are tiny. Some are medium. Some are huge.

It’s my hope that you can take some courage knowing that no matter how big the decision, there’s always room to grow.

Need some help with making a decision?

Take some time to listen to the podcast, The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman. She’s the queen about helping us make decisions and “discern your next right thing in love.”

top photo credit: Myquillyn Smith

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Comments

  1. Teresa Hardymon says

    October 26, 2018 at 4:33 pm

    I know exactly how you feel. A few years ago I was all set, ticket purchased to go to the first hopewriters conference, but my health was in disarray and I knew that I would be pushing myself beyond reasonable limits to go. I knew staying home was the right choice, but I wanted to be there so much it hurt. Brian was gracious and allowed me to convert my ticket to the online version so I’d still have the content.

    I was thankful, but my heart was still a little bruised at not being able to connect with others. I live with chronic illness and now some thyroid issues on top of that, so I have to say no a lot and sometimes it is frustrating to realize that I can’t do all the things. But God is merciful and I try to be kind to myself and not fret about things that are out of my control.

    I enjoyed reading your perspective and your points on how we know we’ve made the right decision.

    Going to share on my Facebook page.

    • Caroline TeSelle says

      October 27, 2018 at 7:56 am

      Thank you for sharing your story, Teresa. I completely get the “thankful, but my heart was still a little bruised at not being able to connect with others.” That seems to be a new norm for me lately, but I’m learning so much about God.

  2. Tracey says

    October 27, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    I have had to make similar decisions over the last year and a half due to grief. It’s been the best hardest decision to sit a few things out. Love you, CT.

  3. Caroline TeSelle says

    October 29, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    “It’s been the best hardest decision”…yep. Miss you Tracey! xo

  4. traci says

    October 31, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    Thanks for letting us take a peek into that beautiful soul of yours, Caroline. ?tdh

    • Caroline TeSelle says

      November 1, 2018 at 8:16 am

      xoxo

  5. Joanne Viola says

    November 3, 2018 at 7:55 am

    Thank you for sharing the insight this decision brought as it is beneficial for any of us. I loved this post! Hope you get to feeling better soon!

    • Caroline TeSelle says

      November 3, 2018 at 10:20 am

      Thank you Joanne! xo

  6. Jan Van Patten says

    November 3, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    It is validating to know others need to make these choices.
    Thanks!

  7. Alicia Starr says

    November 8, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. I feel it, too, although not due to health struggles, but just the realities of raising 5 children while holding down a part-time job, part-time church staff position, and having a husband who often has to travel for his work. I get a little choked up even now thinking about the friendships I am not growing, or the places I am not seeing, or the projects I am not working. BUT (with God there is always that) when I keep my eyes on the FACT that I am making the right decisions to miss out on those things, in exchange for spending time with and growing relationships well with my family, and deciding to spend time with my husband in place of my friends….then I feel at peace. It’s all about perspective, right? Thanks you for reminding me to keep my eyes – and heart – in the right places.

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Hi! My name is Caroline TeSelle and I'm currently doing life with my husband & 4 kids in our little corner of the world. Read more.

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