12 years.

12 years of raising babies into kids.

Now, we have 12 years ahead of us of raising kids to teens to adults.

This next stage makes me have heart palpitations & night sweats.  Not the fun flutters of excitement but the anxious excitement as you approach the first hill of a roller coaster and then the adrenaline rush that follows & sends you immediately to the nearest bathroom once the ride is over.  What?  That only happens to me at the end of a roller coaster ride? The need for extra calming factors as we enter this next stage of parenting is essential.

The first 12 years has been about keeping our kids alive.  Seriously. It has been our responsibility to feed, bathe, clothe & shelter them. Survival & life training.

The next 12 years they will put into action what we have taught them along the way.  We will still provide them with food, clothing & shelter but they are taking the survival skills  & life training we have taught them to the next level.

It is still our job to protect but it also our job to let them fail.

This past weekend our family went through one of the first tests of survival of this next stage because of a bad decision by one member of our family. We ALL learned the lesson of “your decisions don’t just affect you, but many people.” We survived, but not without consequences.

We know the next 12 years will be a challenge.

Our survival skills & life training will depend on us:

• staying calm & focused – honestly, when things get tough, I retreat & become silent.  I think that’s ok at first, because it helps me to not do or say something that I would regret later.
• communicating – just because my husband & I  have 20+ years of hanging out teenagers under our belt doesn’t mean we know everything. We need to be in constant communication with each other.  This goes hand in hand with staying calm & focused.  Communicate calmly with each other & our children.
• remembering priorities - there will be sports & friends & school activities & sleepovers & jobs…Remembering that God comes first, then family, then friends, then the rest.
• saying sorry when we mess up as parents – as parents we must not be afraid to apologize for our mistakes. We are two imperfect people working as a team to parent 4 imperfect children, there will be mess ups.
• noticing the good – “Your decisions don’t just affect you, but many people”.  As I mentioned earlier, last weekend there was a bad decision that was made and our whole family suffered.  On the flip side of that, we want to emphasize that when a good decision is made, good things happen. We must notice the good & reward accordingly.
• praying, praying, praying
• being consistent – consistently communicating, prioritizing, saying sorry, staying calm, noticing the good & praying…

We’re not claiming to be experts. Clearly this is new territory for us. Scary and exciting at the same time.

At the end of these 12 years, all of our children will be adults and I’ll be, um, 53.

That’s a whole new level of roller coaster, right?

Or maybe that’s when I try sky diving??

I am fascinated by seashells & their quirky shapes & sizes. This adorable combination of an air plant housed in the sea urchin shell was perfect for my collection from RobinCharlotte.

For our gallery wall I purchased a print from Raw Art Letterpress: I See Beautiful Things.

Last week, Eden had “crazy hair day” at school.  We decided to try some hair chalk that I found at Ulta. This color is called “Teal Tornado”!  Next time I am going to try some hair chalk from this shop.

My sweatshirt is from Hello Merch. 1) It’s my favorite color. 2) It was on sale! 3) It’s super soft & comfy. 4) I think my family & friends are ready for warmer weather because they’re tired of seeing me wear this sweatshirt! 5) My next purchase from this company will be this t-shirt:

Perfect for the summer {wink! meow!} right?

What are you into this Spring?

Remember last month when I told you that I’m a big fan of cheering others on when they are pursuing their dream? Over the past 4 months I have been cheering on my friend Ashley and her dream of iGrowLemont.

Ashley and I have been friends for 17 years now when we met in Maryland.  Our friendship has stood the test of time & distance. I had the honor of being her matron of honor in her wedding last summer.  Ashley lives & breathes a passion for life & bringing people together.  iGrowLemont embodies those dreams of helping others & community.  If you have time today, please click over and read about this dream and how we are hoping to make a huge impact of healthy living in our community of Lemont.

We start our first initiative this weekend – building raised beds for a community garden where the crops produced will be given to local food banks or sold to raise funds for our local assistance fund.

We are very excited to see the dream become reality.  Let the digging begin!

Can I ask a favor? Follow us on Twitter & Like us on Facebook to help us spread the news? Thank you friends!

My favorite “it’s warm outside” beverage – Passion Tea Lemonade {unsweet}

An afternoon at Kohler spa with Leanne? Yes, please!

Hello!

A lovely spring flower is a fantastic accessory for Bert, dontcha think?

Love our town!

Bert was moved to the back yard while our sidewalk & driveway gets a makeover. The birds & squirrels love the new addition!

Goodbye sidewalk!

Heading south to Atlanta for a wedding weekend.

Hey Lemont friends! This is what spring looks like!

Relaxing & preparing for the wedding.

Quiet.

Josh & Amanda’s wedding party.

Good looking couple, right?

Kellan! Haven’t seen him in 15 years. A sweet reunion of old friends.

It was an honor to be there.

Liz!

One night last week my irrational thoughts kept me awake ALL NIGHT.

We were having torrential downpours here. One thunderstorm right after the other. Several inches of rain fell in 24 hours.

Our house sits on top of a hill and there aren’t any lakes or streams close by. I knew we wouldn’t have significant flooding in our neighborhood. But at 1 am, my irrational thoughts took over.

We live in a 979 square foot house. 6 of us live in a 2 bedroom house. Our 3 boys have the entire basement as their room. We call it the Boys’ Lair.

At 1 am, with the torrential downpours & thunderstorms still coming I knew we would have a few leaks in the Boys’ Lair. This house is 60 years old so a few leaks are expected with the amount of rain that was coming down.

In my crazy thinking 1:00 am brain, I just knew one of those leaks would turn into a stream & cause the foundation to crumble trapping our 3 boys. Then my crazy thinking 1:00 am brain started scenario planning how we would rescue them.

Yep. Scenario planning rescues at 1:00 am is not the best idea. While my husband was peacefully dreaming I was scenario planning rescues.

Nothing good comes from irrational thoughts at 1:00 am.

Here’s what I do to battle those 1:00 am irrational thoughts:

• Pray scriptures or sing {in my head or a quiet whisper so I won’t disturb my peacefully sleeping husband}.
• Read.  I will read the Bible on my iPhone or a book that I have in iBooks or Kindle.
• Listen to music. Grab my iPhone & earbuds. The playlist that immediately calms me is the soundtrack from Pride & Prejudice {the Keira Knightley one}.
• Get up. It’s hard to quietly walk around in our house but sometimes just walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water helps.
• My last resort is wake up Greg. Irrational thoughts at 1:00 am isn’t a problem for him or really any time of day. He calmly listens to my concerns, allows me to feel safe by talking it out or even getting up to check on whatever it was that was bothering me. After 16 years of marriage he knows that just telling me “everything is alright, just go back to sleep” doesn’t help.

Now, I know I sound like a crazy person and you may never come back to read my blog again but maybe this resonates with you? This doesn’t happen to me often, but it has occurred often enough that I know what to do now when those 1 am crazy brain thoughts attack.

This has been an overwhelming week. The events in Boston and Texas and the floods in neighborhoods close to us. I have been glued to the news & weather non-stop this week.

Guess what? The sun is shining today. The rains have stopped and we will look for the good & we will find it.

How do you handle those 1:00 am irrational thoughts?

The winner is ::

Congratulations Sherri!  I will email you soon. I hope you enjoy my favorite things!!

Thank you EVERYONE for your birthday wishes & super kind comments.  You made my 41st birthday celebration so much fun.  I think I might do this again next year!

The best way that I can think of to celebrate my birthday with you is to give away a few of my Favorite Things!

1. Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm :: this is on my nightstand & I use it every night // 2. Essie Madison Ave-Hue :: fav new nail color // 3. A $25 Target Gift Card – my favorite place to shop! // 4. Aladdin Tumbler :: from water to my homemade iced coffee to iced tea this cup is fabulous! // 5. Sharpie Marker Pen Medium :: my go-to pen! // 6. Coconut Grove scented soy candle :: love the smell! {I can’t find a link for them but you can buy them at Target} // 7. Nicole by OPI Drying Drops :: after 2 coats of nail polish use this to help your nails dry faster & it also makes your cuticles soft // 8. Dove Sea Salt Caramel Dark Chocolate :: so yummy!

ONE lucky reader will win a box full of these goodies {worth $75!} delivered to your front door, I wish I could say “In Person” but most likely I will rely on the USPS to deliver the package. {Giveaway open to US & Canada}.

Help me celebrate my 41st Birthday by simply leaving a comment below to win!  Giveaway is open until 11:59pm {CST} 4/12/13.  I’ll announce the winner on Saturday, April 13.

Tomorrow my 40th year of life will change to 41 years. It has been quite a memorable year for me! Here are a few highlights:

April  2012

• My Beach Birthday

• Greg made a secret website to tell others his dream to buy Joon – a 1987 CJ7 Jeep Renegade for me. Have you seen the video of my reaction? It’s classic. And Greg is awesome. {If you decide to surprise video tape someone, tell them to spit out their gum first!}

May 2012

• We welcomed a new member to the family.

• Greg bought me a Groupon to learn how to fly a helicopter – a bucket list dream of mine from childhood. Greg is still awesome.

June 2012

• Teaching our kids to fish for the first time.

July 2012

• Being a Matron of Honor.

August 2012

• A Hilton Head Island family outing.

September 2012

• September was quiet.

• A therapeutic post.

October 2012

• 31 Day of Rest & Risk :: a tag-team writing journey with my husband.

• Chopping off my hair! {risk – fuss = rest!}

November 2012

• The last time we had Twinkies.

December 2012

• My friend Ellen taught us that it’s better for risking to rest!

January 2013

• What a 21 day fast taught me about some of my inconsistencies.

February 2013

• Crossing this off my bucket list even though it wasn’t really on my list in the first place & it was so much fun!

March 2013

• Paying attention to the stop signs in life.

What a year, right?  That’s just the highlights that I’ve written about on here.  That doesn’t include the day to day moments of joy & hardships, the wait-until-we-tuck-you-in real life questions from our kids, the moments of uncontrollable spontaneous laughter at the dinner table, the trips to the emergency room, the tough conversation with a friend who is struggling in her marriage, the terrifying moment of losing your 5 year old daughter on a crowded beach, the moment of watching our kids try snowboarding for the first time, the moment we were introduced to the Robertson/Duck Dynasty family for the first time & not feeling bad when we laughed at their expense because they are hilarious but also encouraged because they are a family centered around a strong faith…I could keep going on with this list for a while!

I can’t finish this post without saying Thank You to Greg.  You consistently provide our family opportunities to grow, love & serve through your generosity and how you lead our family.  Our family life verse to “consider others more important than ourselves” is so clear that you made me feel like my 40th year was the “Year of Caroline”. We both know it’s not about the stuff or the experience, it’s about relationships & showing others how much we love them. Your love is clear & it’s the most clear in the day to day moments of joy & hardships.

Can’t wait to see what day to day moments of joy, hardships, experiences & adventures come our way for my 41st year!

{Pssst! Come back tomorrow for a birthday surprise giveaway!}

I’m a cheerleader. Not the kind that stands in front of a crowd to cheer for a team & rally the fans but the kind that is in the background.  Still cheering, sometimes loudly, but from the stands.

Since I was a child I have been cheering others on.  It started with my older brother, David.  He was a natural born athlete in every sport he took on as a kid from baseball to basketball to football to track to, well, you get the idea.  If he was playing a game, I was his Pep Squad.  One summer, I was even the “bat-girl” for his baseball team when I was 8 or so.  His teammates called him “Mahaffey” & I was “Lil’ Mahaffey”.  They even made me a t-shirt with that nickname on it to match the rest of the team & I wore it proudly.  I was his biggest fan.

As an adult, I’m still a big fan of cheering on others when they are pursuing their dreams.

This kind of cheerleader is called an Encourager.

What does being an encourager have to do with being a big fan of dreams?

I recently read Holley Gerth’s “You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream”.  The book is full of huge nuggets of truth & wisdom. I came to the realization after reading her book that my God-sized dream is to encourage others & help their God-sized dreams come true.

Dreaming doesn’t come natural for me but encouraging does.  So I guess you can say my dreams are coming true by encouraging others.

The definition of ENCOURAGE : to INSPIRE with COURAGE, SPIRIT, or CONFIDENCE.

It takes courage, spirit & confidence to inspire others with your encouragement.  I believe my strengths, experiences and life skills have all pointed in the direction of helping & encouraging others. That doesn’t mean that it’s always easy or fun to just stand on the sidelines or be the voice of encouragement from the side of the stage.  Sometimes the encouragement falls on deaf ears or it’s rejected. Sometimes envy creeps in. Being an encourager can be lonely. Where is the pep squad for the pep squad?

Humility is strength under control. It’s knowing who we are, being secure in that, & then choosing to serve.

Holley Gerth You Were Made for a God-Sized Dream

Despite those feelings of insecurity that sometimes creep in, everyday I have a choice to make.

I choose to serve by encouraging others.

My latest venture of encouragement is helping a few of my friends in my town with a grassroots movement of starting a volunteer run community garden where the food harvested from that garden will be donated to local food pantries.  It is my friend Ashley’s God-Sized Dream and a few of us are coming alongside of her to help make it happen.  {I will be sharing more about this very soon!}

Oh, and every 40 years or so, I’ll have a big dream like this!

Are you a big fan of dreams?