daydreams

When Envy Creeps

when envy creeps

An alarm is triggered inside of me when envy creeps.

One of my alarm triggers? When I start to become jealous when other people succeed. Not just others. Friends.

How horrible is that?

As a blanket of snow has covered the ground outside, I am reminded how dark my heart can be sometimes.

“Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.”
- François de La Rochefoucauld

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”
- Benjamin Franklin

“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
- Malachy McCourt

“It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.”
- Aeschylus

“When I realize that God makes his gifts fit each person, there’s no way I can covet what you got because it just wouldn’t fit me.”
- William P. Smith, Loving Well

“A slowness to applaud betrays a cold temper or an envious spirit.”
- Hannah More

“It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of envy.”
- Helen Keller

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bone.” - Proverbs 14:30 (NIV)

I do not want my bones to rot or to become someone who is slow to applaud. I am thankful for the alarm that is triggered inside of me to recognize when envy creeps.

As soon as that alarm is triggered, I want my first response to be applause for that friend, not envy.

February 28, 2013

Out of My Heart the Mind Speaks

sweet gum tree Ever have one of those “man in the mirror” moments? I’m not talking about an encounter with Michael Jackson but one of those refining moments where you can clearly see God breaking down the walls of your heart.

While participating in a 21 day fast this month with some friends here in Lemont, God revealed some major artery clogging heart stuff. Don’t panic! I’m not talking literal heart stuff, which can be serious, but I’m talking about spiritual heart stuff, which can be life-altering if it isn’t routinely checked.

I’m still trying to process my thoughts and most of those thoughts will never enter this online space. Not everything that enters my Moleskine journal comes to life in this space. That sounds arrogant, but it’s not meant to be. Sometimes our thoughts need to stay in the Moleskine.

So, why am I telling you? It’s one of the reasons I’ve been quiet on here recently.

I’m a contemplator {that’s a word, right?}. An internal processor. My internal processor has been working on overload this month. It has even affected my dreams.

Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks, right? But for me ~ out of the overflow of the heart the mind speaks.

I have a situation that I have done everything I know to do to resolve it but it’s not working. The resolution is out of my control and it’s making my mind implode. My mind won’t shut up. I’ve tried to drown it out with loud music, Gilmore Girl reruns, doodling in my journal, making Zoo Doos…you name it! The usual aversion strategies haven’t been working.

That’s typical when God is clearing my arteries.

The resolution will come, one way or another and I need to trust Him. Thank you for sticking with me during my quietness.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

January 29, 2013

Laid Back Social Media

Let me set the scene for you ::

A lake house in Michigan.

No Internet. No wi-fi.

No texting. No email.

My only form of communication with the outside world for 2 1/2 days? Calling them on the phone! How ancient is that!?! I couldn’t text, tweet or Instagram. Shocking, right? If I needed to get in touch with someone, the only way to do it was to call.

I was with a group of friends celebrating our friend Ashley. She’s getting married in 18 days and we had an opportunity to get out of town for a few days to relax & have some girl-time fun before she walks down the aisle to say “I Do”.

We were able to be together without the distractions of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, texts…At first, I’ll admit I was a little frustrated. I wanted to be able to send a text to Greg and I was trying to keep my Instagram feed filled with fun pictures from the weekend for all my followers…how silly is that? The world can go on without constant updates from me. No one out there is starving for my pictures.

Who’s starving for my time? The people that I’m with IN THAT MOMENT.

How can I be mindful in the moment when I’m constantly checking my iPhone for updates or taking that perfect picture to post to Instagram?

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll still use social media. I will keep on writing and blogging. I just want to make sure the next time I’m focusing on the people that I’m with rather than wondering how I can communicate with the people that must be sitting by their phones or computers waiting for my updates…I realize this laid back social media mentality may not get me far in the social media world but I’m ok with that.

July 10, 2012

A Summer Kind of Faith

A summer kind of faith requires REST & RISK.

Since we arrived in North Carolina 12 days ago we have RESTED :: making puzzles, sleeping in, laughing with friends & family, swimming, reading the Bible together, playing games.

We have taken a few RISKS :: trying something new like riding roller coasters, traveling to invest in friendships, taking off our floaties & putting our head under the water, making new friends.

I have to admit, it is easier for me to REST than take RISKS. It is completely opposite for my husband. We make a great team – I encourage him to REST and he encourages me to take RISKS. Both are equally important on our faith journey and we realize the importance of encouraging our kids to experience both REST & RISK.

It is our job to teach them.

It is also important to realize that how we REST & take RISKS may not be the way our children will REST or take RISKS. We have to provide them opportunities to experience what REST & RISK might look like for them too.

It is our hope that as our children grow we can encourage them to grow in their faith with REST & RISK.