Truth : What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
It was April 1997. I was 25 & a newlywed. We lived in Maryland. Greg was a student pastor at a church & I took on the role of being a “pastors wife”. Basically, an infant in all things surrounding the role of being a “pastors wife” and if I’m honest, wasn’t exactly thrilled with some of the unspoken expectations that came with it. I guess when your spouse is in any type of leadership position, certain expectations are placed on you. I’m getting off track – back to the story…
I was invited to attend the annual women’s retreat in Harper’s Ferry, WV with the church & signed up to go so I could spend some quality time with some girlfriends, hoping to mingle among the crowd quietly.
That quiet mingling lasted until lunchtime on Saturday.
The weather was beautiful on that spring afternoon & a bunch of us decided to go have lunch at one of the local restaurants. The restaurant had outdoor seating & we decided since it was such a beautiful day, we would eat outside.
We had finished lunch & we were just sitting there, chatting & laughing & sharing stories & soaking in the warm Spring sun. It was one of those moments where you think to yourself, “You know, it doesn’t get much better than this.” Oh, Caroline…
A few minutes before it was time for us to leave, I grabbed my Pepsi & took one last gulp. I wanted to finish it & chew on the few pieces of ice that were left in the cup. The joy of the moment ended rather unexpectedly, when I spit out all the contents of that last gulp of Pepsi with projectile force into my best friend Kristin’s face who had the unfortunate luck of sitting across from me!
You see, what I didn’t know when I took that gulp was that there was a honey bee happily enjoying a few sips of my Pepsi as well. As soon as I took my gulp, I saw it & it flew near my mouth so I did what any normal person would do to try & get the bee away from their mouth – spit! & scream!
Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “that’s not so embarrassing, Caroline. For Kristin, because she’s soaked in Pepsi, but not really you.” Well, keep reading…
2 seconds after I spit out my soda while Kristin was screaming at me like I’m a crazy person, my inner thigh started to sting. Intensely. That sweet, confused little honey bee was in my overalls {yes! it was 1997 & overalls were all the rage!}. Apparently, he found an opening that led all the way down to my, um, let’s just keep calling it my inner thigh. It wasn’t my vajayjay {sorry, but I had to clear that up}. But pretty darn close. Once he was down there, he was stuck. No escape, thus he engaged his defense mechanism & stung me.
I did what any normal, sane person would do when their um, inner thigh was intensely stinging because a bee had just stung you & you wanted that bee out of our overalls right away. I started to repeatedly smack myself in my, um, inner thigh. And scream at the same time.
So much for a calm, quiet, lay low for the weekend pastor’s wife. Thanks, honey bee.
The rest of the table sat in stunned silence, staring at the two of us. We looked like freaks. No, I was the freak. Kristin was completely innocent & covered in Pepsi.
Oh, and as I repeatedly smacked myself, I tried to scoot back in my chair, but the deck chair wouldn’t scoot {um, those chairs just don’t scoot!} & it collapsed so I fell backwards onto the wooden deck. At this point, I had to give the rest of the crowd an idea what I was doing to my, um, inner thigh. As I smacked, I screamed, “A bee flew down my overalls!”
I’m pretty sure I killed the honey bee. I never saw him again. But, the daunting question – did he leave his stinger in me? I had to check, but I needed help.
Fast forward two minutes, Kristin & I managed to get into the one person bathroom at the restaurant, which was inside & now everyone inside has witnessed our crazy because we were crying from uncontrollable laughter! Through tear soaked eyes, Kristin came to the rescue! Even though I had spit in her face a few minutes ago, she found the stupid stinger & removed it.
What happened next? I’m pretty sure I walked around the quaint little town of Harper’s Ferry holding a bag full of ice on my, um, inner thigh.
Yep. That was my last retreat as a pastor’s wife at that church…& I think I threw any expectation of being a “normal” pastor’s wife out the window that day. I’m ok with that!
The Year was 2007. The month was September. It was a Monday morning at approximately 8:55am.
It had to drop Tygar… my second son… off at preschool. Usually Caroline dropped him off, but for whatever reason I had the privilege this particular morning.
So in preparation to go to preschool, I told Tygar to use the bathroom before we left home, so he wouldn’t have to use the bathroom once he got to preschool. So he did… and when he was done, he had a great “4 year old question”.
“Daddy… my pee pee is small. When I grow up will it be bigger?”
I non-nonchalantly answered him… “Yep, as you get older… and grow up… everything gets bigger”.
A great, accurate, and harmless answer. Right?
So I take him to school… and I’m the only Dad there, as the rest of the parents were moms or grandmas dropping off their kid.
So imagine in your minds eye… two female preschool teachers greeting students as they enter the class… and a long line of kids with their parent dropping them off. We are third in line. (Have the picture in your head?)
So the first two kids get dropped off no problem… then it is our turn… But because I don’t normally drop off Tygar, one of the teachers bent down and asked Tygar… in a great preschool teacher voice…
“Who is dropping you off today Tygar?” (Harmless question, right?).
Tygar said… “This is my Dad… and he has a very big ‘pee pee'”.
The two female teachers, along with all the other Mom’s in line, were staring at me… at which point, I smiled, hugged Tygar, and walked to my car… Never to go back to preschool again.
Wow, we are exhausted from reliving these embarrassing truths!! Your turn now – don’t hold back!
Nicole Brennessel says
I was in 6th grade Literature class and we were reading the book “Hiroshima” and taking turns reading a page of the book out loud to the class. I had the feeling of gas building up in my stomach but tried to implement the infamous squeeze and hold but was unsuccessful. I ended up farting really loud and when everyone in the class looked my way, I blamed it on the girl sitting across from me. Everyone knew it was me because my face turned bright red but I just kept denying it. Later that day I found out the class clown came up with a new nickname for me “Hiroshima.” I was absolutely mortified!
Caroline TeSelle says
this is hilarious! thank you for sharing 🙂
Julie @ Girl on the Move says
I taught middle school for seven years after college and truly learned to laugh at myself and not be embarrassed…so I honestly can’t think of any embarrassing moments. I find it is much much easier to laugh at myself with others!
Julie @ Girl on the Move recently posted..Creating a Social Media Plan {day eighteen}
Caroline TeSelle says
middle school students have a way of making that happen, right?
Elizabeth says
You guys make me laugh so hard. So glad I discovered your 31 Day challenge. Enjoying it. 🙂
Caroline TeSelle says
so glad you’re on the journey with us this month!