Our “Year of Rest” started in January 2012… with a risk.
Rest and Risk do go hand in hand. You can’t really REST unless you take a RISK.
We had left Huntersville, NC and moved to Chicago over Christmas 2011.
We were determined to make 2012 a “Year of Rest”… but how? What do we do first?
Our answer… become quitters. It sounds terrible doesn’t it?
The truth is… we were doing too many things that just didn’t matter.
We didn’t have to solve every problem.
We didn’t have to return every email/text/phone call.
Our kids didn’t have to be in every sport/activity available.
We didn’t have to work until 8 pm every night.
We didn’t have to watch our favorite TV shows.
We didn’t have to check twitter, instagram, FB everyday.
We didn’t have to go to every party.
We didn’t have to do everything the church asked.
We didn’t have to blog everyday.
And the list goes on and on and on….
We discovered the world functions much better when we aren’t doing everything…
and our world functions much better when we aren’t doing everything.
Here’s how we became quitters…
We quit being busy, and started resting. (physically, spiritually, emotionally)
We quit letting life just happen, and started living with purpose.
We quit “the routine”, and started “the spontaneous”.
We quit consuming more, and started giving more.
We quit just looking at art, and started creating art.
We quit sleeping less, and started sleeping more.
We quit institutional church, and started biblical church.
We quit safe, and started dangerous.
We quit saying yes, and started saying no.
In short, we stopped trying to please people, we quit making excuses, and started focusing on what matters. This is no easy task.
Quitting… it is hard… it requires discipline… it reveals your true friends… it asks hard questions that require honest, real answers… and you can’t quit by yourself.
Quitting is risky… but the alternative is deadly.
God is big enough to run the world without Greg & Caroline, and He runs our world much better when we quit doing so many things that don’t matter, and just start being.
Join us. Become a quitter. Quit doing and start being.
Tomorrow – The Benefits of Rest
~ Greg
{This is a series of posts for 31 Days of Rest & Risk. To read the other posts, click here.}
The more I say no the easier it gets. No guilt, no reason needed. Just no, thank you.
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Tracey – no truer words have been spoken. Well, maybe a few… but yours are really good.
I’m all for resting! Always a good idea, rest
But I’m curious to know: how have you kept that rest from turning into boredom, or even laziness?
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Sonika, great question.
We have 4 children ages… 5,7,10, & 12. So even if we wanted to be bored, it’s not going to happen
But I could see people that are in a different phase of life initially struggle with boredom and/or laziness.
I can only share with you what we do. Again, it’s not necessarily going to benefit everyone, but I hope there are a couple principles that might be transferable somehow.
We take our family calendar, and schedule all the things THAT MATTER first… but we only fill our calendar until it is 80% full. We leave 20% unscheduled… that’s our margin. Margin is crucial for us because again, we have 4 kids
Example… Last week we had our second son break his arm. So off to the hospital we went. It was clearly an unplanned event. But we had margin in our lives to be able to take care of him and not throw the rest of life out of whack. Today… our youngest is sick. She’s staying home from school. Margin allows us to do that without screwing up the rest of the family calendar.
We don’t fill their schedules. Sadly, we have many friends that have no margin. They are over budget on their time, and are running on empty. We view time management much the same we we view money management. You can’t keep withdrawing if you’re not making deposits. We don’t spend everything we take in. We create margin (savings). We also don’t run our lives at maximum speed. That’s dangerous. We want to create a little room for error (margin).
So creating margin (savings, room for error, unplanned things) is wise. We hope not to use our margin… but in the event we do, we have it. When we don’t, we just do some of things we love.
So when we decided to schedule the things that matter FIRST…. we first had to figure out WHAT MATTERES. If you continue to read our posts through October, we’ll share some things that we found are very valuable, that were not on our “WHAT MATTERS” list. We were neglecting some important things. After we defined “what mattered”, the 80% seemed to be easy to plan and fill.
Hope this helps… Just a few thoughts.
Love to hear your thoughts.
~Greg
I’m humbled by how thoughtfully you’ve responded, Greg – thanks. That’s a full house for sure! There must be such joy in your home…chaos, I’ll bet, but joy, too. I hope that your son and daughter recover well.
This is an excellent (and much-needed) reminder, especially for someone like me, i.e. someone who, in all her well-meaning ambitiousness, schedules every minute of every day. No exaggeration there…and you’re right; it definitely blows through my energy reserves.
Your analogies have given me pause. As a workaholic college student, it’s super-easy for me to make excuses about not having time and wanting to be as efficient as possible…but thanks to you, I’m going to try and work some leeway into my life
Can’t wait to continue walking with you this month – thanks for the wisdom!
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So true! It’s hard for us to think how things will carry on without us, but the truth is they always do! Look forward to reading your series.
Agreed. We have found that our friends that over book themselves and have no margin in their lives are also the same friends that are a more focused on themselves.
That’s the primary reason our lives run better when we aren’t doing everything… it’s because we aren’t always focused on our stuff, our kids, our calendar, our lives.
Thoughts?
~Greg
I cannot help but lump myself in with on your “overscheduled friends list” Gregory…but that can be for another day
I like your quitting idea, I had a good weep yesterday over my recent quit…my writing. For now anyway. But I digress…
The problem I have with quitting is when it comes to people. People I have a hard time quitting on. And good ones (no great ones) keep coming up. Calendars, schedules, events, sports, even blogging I can put aside. But people, now that is just harder. Thoughts?
Quitting on your writing is just for a season. You’ll return to it… and probably stronger and wiser.
When it comes to people… that’s a big question. I think we’d have to start by defining what does it mean to quit on a person.
Did Jesus quit in Judas? or the rich young ruler? Did the father of the prodigal son quit on him?
I have a friend who is not in a great spot now. She has walked away from me and many of those who love her most. I don’t talk to her… though I have tried. I have “let her go” to do her own thing. She’s an adult. I miss her. But if she ever called or text’d or emailed and said “Help. I need you, I’m a mess”… I’d go almost instantly.
So maybe we quit on people for a season. Thoughts?
Remember, we only have so much time and “room” for a certain number of people. Saying yes to someone means saying no to someone else. Make sure your “yes” list gets your time and attention first.
How many people can we actually be friends with? How many can you have on your “yes” list?
Love you.
Thoughts?
Judas was the one who quit on Jesus.
The prodigal son, he quit on his dad.
The rich young ruler walked away.
Your friend…she made the choice.
Who quit who?
What happens when your list of yes’s has become too long? Each yes near and dear to your heart, but just too many? Your question is a good one…how many yes’s is too many? It seems different seasons have different capacities…
But how do WE make the choice to walk away from a yes when someone needs you. Everyday you automatically start with 5 people who need you…I start with 4. Somedays even THAT feels like enough to keep up with.
Great posts! God is really challenging me…I look forward to tomorrow’s. That is if it makes my “yes” list.
Maria,
My analogy I use is one of a lego block. There are only so many little things to connect to, then you can’t connect anymore. The lego block is full.
Same with people. We can get full. Then we say “no more”.
If our “yes” list is too long, we have a choice I suppose…
1) eliminate all the other clutter (stuff) so you can connect to more people.
2) eliminate some of the “yes” people completely.
3) make a tiered system of people. A priority list of sorts.
People first right?
Remember also, not every person or need has your name on it.
Defining what matters most is crucial. That’s part of quitting.
Love you.
Greg
I want to be a quitter! I want to be a quitter!!!!!! Last year I thought I would have all this extra time with my youngest going off to kindergarten. I said yes to a lot. A lot of things I really didn’t want to do, but felt I should do because I had the time. I lost it, I was so burned out, I didn’t know which way was up. I learned from my mistakes. This year I have said no to lots of different things. In turn I am able to be quiet and see what it is that I really want to do or where I want to spend my time.
You need to write a book. I will buy and give it to all my friends who think i don’t do enough. hahahaha!
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My husband and I are right there with you two!
We are quitters, too.
It’s glorious. : )
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We have had many major changes in our life over the past few years, not necessarily by choice…but unexpected changes can also be for the better. I look forward to hearing more of your family’s story.
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